The Siena Hotel Hosts the Wedding of Rabia and Jon!

The Siena Hotel in Chapel Hill holds many fond memories for me going back 12 years ago when I officiated the wedding of Laura and Gus, one of my first weddings. Their rehearsal dinner was at the Siena. (Back then I attended rehearsal dinners.) The Il Palio chef prepared Laura's family's favorite dessert from the recipe given supplied by her mother. It was layers of lady fingers and whipped cream drizzled with an amazing home-made chocolate sauce. Yummy. So fantastic that I asked for the recipe and still treasure it today! Since that time I have done many weddings at the hotel, some big and some small. They can accommodate just about any size wedding and the staff and hotel are wonderful to work with. 

This is Arie, the events manager with the Siena. She is great to work with and took care of all the details of the wedding day!

Jon called me in mid-November to see if I was available to officiate his wedding to Rabia on December 3, 2011 at the Siena--just a few short weeks away. Fortunately, I was available so we scheduled a meeting quickly.  We did not have a lot of time so I crafted a ceremony based on what they told me they wanted, sent it to them and they loved it. They really liked the parts reflecting their different family heritages (Rabia is Muslim and from Pakistan and Jon was raised Christian and American although he was born in Germany) making it an interfaith ceremony. Rabia particularly liked the idea of using a poem by the Persian mystical poet, Rumi, as a meditative prayer. She told me that her parents who traveled from Pakistan for the wedding love the works of Rumi and would be very pleased (and they were). For a closing blessing, we used a prayer based on First Corinthians. We also included a tribute to both sets of parents who have intact marriages and serve as wonderful role models for our bride and groom. 

Marty and I arrived at the hotel at 10:15 for the 11:00 AM wedding. This gorgeous cake by Sugarland was hidden away in the reception room. Needless to say, the wedding color was a beautiful pink. 

The Fisher-Park String Quartet from Greensboro was already there and warming up. They were very good!

This the room all set up for the ceremony. I am amazed that my new camera got this low light shot without flash! Wow!

These are our flower girls all lined up early! 

 

Jon's parents, Helga and Dean, process in first followed by Rabia's mother, Tehseen, escorted in by her two sons.

 Then Jon and I.

 The cute (unrehearsed) flower girls trickled in slowly! 

Rabia was escorted in by her father, Javed, then he transferred her hand into Jon's.

I don't have any photos of it but we did a "water pouring" ritual after the wedding address, the vows and ring exchange. "We honor water, to clean and soothe your relationship that you may never thirst for love....Together may you always share kindness with one another that will ease any pain that may come between you. With all the forces of the universe, we pray for harmony and true happiness for you both." 

Joining hands again after drying their hands. 

"It is my pleasure and my honor to recognize you as husband and wife!"

Their kiss was so brief I had them kiss again but still we got no photo of the kiss! I think they were a bit shy about kissing in front of everyone.

Waiting for the quartet to start the recessional music. Isn't Rabia's ceremonial dress beautiful?

 And out they go!  

Jon and Rabia, I am so happy that you called me that day and that we could work together to make your ceremony so special for you. I wish you all the best always!  Thank you for your note the next day that said: "I just wanted to thank you for the wonderful job you did on our wedding ceremony yesterday.  So many people came up to us and told us how much they liked the ceremony - you really made it memorable. We even had one guest say that she and her husband would like to do their wedding over again with you as the officiant! So thank you very much."

Fabulous Interfaith Wedding Ceremony for Reshma and Darren at Maggiano's!

Reshma, Darren and I met last September to plan their wedding for October of 2011 at Maggiano's Little Italy in Southpoint Mall. Due to some health challenges in the family they decided to move their wedding up six months earlier than planned so we set a new wedding date for Easter Sunday, April 24, 2011. Fortunately Maggiano's was able to accommodate the change of date. So we got to work on their ceremony which was a lovely blending of Christian and Hindu wedding customs along with a sweet tribute to their parents and Reshma's daughter, Selena. We rehearsed on Saturday morning to make sure everyone understood their part. At the rehearsal I had the pleasure of meeting Reshma's parents, Babu and Meena. Babu, her father, and I chatted quite a bit. He earned his graduate degree from UNC in the 1970s and they now live outside Augusta, GA. He requested that I include in the prayer the significance of Easter Sunday to balance with the Hindu invocation of prayer to the Lord Ganesh, the God of Wisdom, which opens every auspicious Hindu occasion. 

When Marty and I arrived for the wedding, the reception area was all set for the celebration after the ceremony. Maggiano's has a nice large private room where I have also done several wedding ceremonies as it can be partitioned into two separate rooms. For Reshma and Darren's ceremony, however, we were using the round room with lots of windows to the left of the revolving door entrance.

Reshma was out of sight of the guests getting ready. Here she had not put on her veil. What a beautiful wedding gown!Thanks to Carolyn Scott, our photographer, for sending me these shots and more!

The color for the wedding was a true red and this lovely cake certainly fits right into the color scheme. I believe that the chef of Maggiano's is responsible for this beautiful cake. Reshma, correct me if I am wrong.

Maggiano's was open for business on Easter Sunday and so the wedding guests were mingled with the restaurant guests waiting in the lounge area to be seated and it was hard for me to tell who was a wedding guest and who was a customer waiting to be seated in the dining room! But, we got all the guests seated and started the processional. The first person escorted in was Darren's mother, Kay, escorted in by Darren's brother.

 Above is Reshma's beautiful mother, Meena, escorted in by her son, Sheel.

Reshma asked that I wear red as well and I was most happy to don the red dress I wear for weddings because I don't get to wear it that often, mainly at Christmas! Darren and I prepare to make our entrance followed by his best man, Ben.

This pretty little girl is Selena, the 10 year old daughter of the bride. She was so excited for this wedding and her enthusiasm showed as she walked in sprinkling petals.

Then Teresa, the Matron of Honor, entered. She was supposed to come in before Selena but somehow Selena got ahead of her. It was fine, no big deal!

Here comes the bride escorted in by her father, Babu, and her brother, Sheel. She sure got the attention of the customers waiting in the lounge area! I found out on Facebook that behind the scenes, Denise Hutter of Images by Denise had been doing hair and makeup for Reshma, Selena, Teresa and Meena.

You can see a little of what this room looks like from here. All the guests were standing for the entrance of our beautiful bride. When I arrived, there was a red velvet runner down the aisle but we had to remove it because the doors would not clear it and it would have been a tripping hazard during the ceremony as the bride and groom circled  the fire in the Hindu custom. When I told Reshma after the ceremony, she had not even noticed the absence of the aisle runner!

Our photographer, Carolyn Scott, kneels in the aisle to get some great shots of the bride and groom and wedding party as we begin this wonderful ceremony. She sent me some great photos that I have added to this post. Thanks, Carolyn! This is the first ceremony that we have worked together.

Reshma and Darren were so ready to get married! Their love for each other was evident as they gazed at each other. Reshma had been married before then widowed. I know Darren is so happy that he held out on matrimony until Reshma came into his life.

After the welcome, we had a Christian prayer which included the significance of Easter (everlasting life) and then Reshma's father was to give two Hindu prayers. He told me at the rehearsal that he and Selena were going to surprise Reshma at that point by Selena giving one of the prayers. And she did a great job. Babu, on the other hand, got a bit choked up at that point and Sheel stood up to help him but he recovered and came through. It was such a touching moment!

After remembering loved ones who have passed on, including Darren's father and brother, we had a tribute to Reshma's parents, Darren's mother, and to Selena. 

Then it was time to pour the sand in the Family Unity Sand Ceremony.The couple's story of how they met and fell in love came next. Everyone enjoyed hearing the sweet moments and the humorous moments of their courtship--including their rival football teams, the Steelers for Reshma and the Cowboys for Darren!

In the Christian tradition, we had the lighting of the Unity Candle. These flames then served as the sacred fire of Phere. The Hindu wedding custom of Mangal Phera is for the couple to  walk around the fire four times. At each round, Sheel offered the couple ceremonial rice and rose petals as a gift which they accepted then made the next round.

The first three rounds the bride leads the groom signifying that the bride would be free to take the lead in matters of everyday life.

 

Darren had to be careful not to step on the bride's train that trailed after her on the three rounds! 

The groom leads the bride for the fourth round signifying that it would be the groom who would lead her through life. Each round had a significance: Dharma, Artha, Karma, and Moksha for which I read the meaning as they made their rounds.

The next tradition was called Saptapati. As the bride and groom walk around the fire taking seven steps, they make certain promises to each other at each step which they repeated after me.

Here Darren is placing the Mangalsutra, a ceremonial wedding necklace, around Reshma's neck. This Hindu custom is the counterpart to the Western tradition of wedding rings.

Now they exchanged rings and repeated their vows to each other after me, line by line.

Finally we come to the closing blessing and the proclamation of marriage!

The KISS!  (Darren remembered that at the rehearsal I told him to be sure and put his hands under the veil rather than on top or he would dislodge it or yank her head backwards!)

Look at that big smile Darren is wearing! I know Reshma was so thrilled. And Selena was ecstatic to have a new daddy! She and Darren have bonded like two peas in a pod!

 

After Marty and I retrieved my microphone and receiver from our DJ Tim Hazell of TJDJ Music, and my little table which held the rice, petals and necklace, we went outside for photos. I snagged Teresa and got her signature for the marriage license. I had already gotten Ben's signature just before we started the ceremony.

 

 Reshma had already stepped out of her pretty red high heels and Teresa was pinning up the train.

 

There was a refreshing breeze as you can see and we were all so thrilled that the ceremony had gone so perfectly. Darren and Reshma, I know you know how fortunate you are to have found one another and I know you are going to have a wonderful marriage and provide a wonderful model of a healthy relationship and nurturing home for Selena! Congratulations!