A Celebrant's Life

Written by Susan Gallina

Being a Civil Celebrant for the past eight years has afforded me the wonderful opportunity to play a role in many ceremonies including weddings, baby naming and funerals.

This experience has, over the years, taken me to some weird and wonderful places and allowed me to briefly get to know many unique and interesting couples. One of the best things about this job is working with a young couple to create their  wedding ceremony and then, to my delight, when they call me back for a naming ceremony for their first born, then second and sometimes third and fourth.  It is always heart-warming to remember the two people that stood before their family and friends to commit to each other and to then see them, sometimes a few years later, raising  their own child or children, and how it has all changed.

I’ve had the very good fortune to visit many beautiful and hidden  places in South Australia, from far North to far South and of course the Adelaide Hills, but  when an old friend asked me to conduct her wedding ceremony at a resort in Thailand I thought all my Christmases had come at once!. It was a fabulous experience and a wonderful holiday for all of us that made the trip. The bride walked the grassy, flower lined aisle at sunset, to a backdrop of the bluest ocean, and we partied on the very edge of the beach at a formal sit down reception, watching the candle lit paper lanterns float away into the distance.

 

I honestly believed that this couldn’t, and never would be, topped until recently when I was asked to fly to Brisbane for a wedding that was to take place on board the P & O Cruise ship, Pacific Dawn. When asked if I was available and willing to do it, I think the actual words that came out of my mouth were “Is the Pope Catholic? Yes of course I’ll do it.”

Sadly, I wasn’t going to set sail with them, but would get to board, spend the day on the ship to look around and relax, before conducting the ceremony and disembarking.

Plans were made and permissions sought and soon enough we set off for sunny Brisbane (My husband decided to tag along and make a weekend of the opportunity to have a short break).

On the day of the ceremony, the wharf was packed with hundreds of passengers eagerly waiting to go through customs and board the ship.

 

I wondered if I’d ever get on until one of the crew came charging through the crowd waving at me, yelling “come with me, I’ll take you straight through to the priority boarding entrance.” ( I would have felt quite privileged if not for the death stares I was getting from the people, impatiently waiting in the  exceptionally long and pushy line, as I breezed on through).

I was taken to the Captains private meeting room,  where the ceremony was to take place to lay out the documents etc and then led to the bar area for coffee and nibbles while a lovely 3 piece band played. (Loving it at this point!)

 As the wedding guests all continued to board and the ceremony time drew near, the event planner led me back to the room to begin.

The view from the very front room of the ship was breathtaking as the groom took his position, and  the bride entered, along with their two small boys.

When the ceremony was finished, I was escorted off the ship as it set sail for a seven day cruise. (I was wishing I had hidden in a cupboard).

We spent the next three days in Brisbane, enjoying the warm weather and all the interesting things the city had to offer as well as catching up with family.

With any luck, I’ll be invited to do another one some day! 
 

Attention Australian Celebrants

Australian celebrants do not miss this opportunity to do you Ongoing Professional Development with our very own Susan Gallina and The Gordon TAFE.

OPD can be a task that every busy Celebrant dreads for the simple fact that we are all so time poor, but if it's a great topic and something that will help you reach potential clients, then it's definitely worth the time.

Don't miss getting in early for Susan's 3 hour session on 'Creating and Maintaining a Social Media Presence' (And also includes a further compulsory 2 hour unit.)

If you've ever wanted to master social media and learn how to do it efficiently and effectively, then this is the course for you.

Check out the dates below and register by emailing COURINFO@gordontafe.edu.au.

You will be contacted within the next two business days to confirm the enrolment and payment process. 

Or call (03) 5225 0800 for enrolment enquiries.

Sydney, CBD	Package 9 Compulsory activity 2014 (compulsory legal module) • Creating and maintaining a social media presence	Sun 27/07/2014 10am - 3.30pm
Adelaide, Novar Gardens	Package 9	Thurs 19/6/2014   4pm – 9:30pm
Perth, Northbridge	Package 9	Sun 14/09/2014 10am - 3.30pm
Gold Coast, Currumbin	Package 9	Sun 2/11/2014 10am - 3.30pm
Adelaide, CBD	Package 13 Compulsory activity 2014 (compulsory legal module) • Presentation skills • Evaluating your service	Sun 7/12/2014 10am - 3.30pm

10 Ways a Modern Wedding is Completely Different to a Traditional Ceremony

You're getting married? That's awesome, but, it's 2014 in-case you haven't seen the calendar. Weddings are different now, and although mothers, grand and not-so-grand, are dragging hundreds of years of tradition into most weddings, your marriage is a modern one, so your wedding should be a modern wedding.

Here's ten ways that weddings are totally different now. Hi mums, sorry.

1. Most weddings don't happen at 3pm on Saturday anymore.

From the wedding bookings I see, more and more weddings are happening outside of 3pm Saturday, the old school traditional time of bridal bliss.  The new popular times are 5pm Saturday, 9am Sunday, 11am Saturday and 5pm Friday. Tuesday, Thursday and Monday are becoming crazily popular as well!

It’s just a reflection of modern society where a good handful of the population don't work Monday to Friday, 9-5 anymore. Shift workers, hospitality and retail workers, the self-employed and people that just have really cool jobs can get any old time off to party.

2. Weddings are being celebrated outside of (gasp) wedding venues! (gasp)

The rising trend is to celebrate your wedded bliss in venues that aren’t your traditional wedding venues, golf courses and function rooms. Look out for more art galleries, warehouses, concert venues, backyards, restaurants and parks on wedding invites this year.

3. Not everyone’s exchanging rings

Some people don't like rings. They're exchanging other things, and some people aren't exchanging anything except for their undying love.

4. Only 28% are religious

72% of all weddings being celebrated in Australia this year will be officiated by a civil marriage celebrant.

Please don't confuse celebrant with celibate.

5. You've got the power

There is no “standard wedding” or normal layout today. Where it happens, when it happens, whether you take photos before or after, or anything like that, it’s all up to you. You have the power as you plan your wedding in 2014!

6. Wives are taking their husbands names again

This is a trend that comes, then goes, then comes again. We're on the rise at the moment, with most wives wanting to join their husband not only on a marriage certificate but also with the same last name.

Though one couple last year saw the husband take the wife's last name!

7. 100% (of my) brides and grooms already live together

This comes purely from my records, but 100% of the brides and grooms I married last year,  and this year, live together already. Don’t tell your priest!

8. Weddings are no longer weddings, they're actually marriage-starting-parties

The word wedding arrives on your doorstep wanting to stay for a few months and brings with it more baggage than that weird friend from high school that just broke up with her boyfriend and needs a place to crash.

Stop planning a wedding, start planning a party to celebrate the beginning of your marriage!

9. Guest lists are getting smaller than ever

The average guest list 10 years ago was more than 120 people. Today I’m surprised if I see a wedding with more than 40-50 people. Everyone knows that it costs and people don't get offended as much when they're not invited to your wedding. Its’ totally ok to not fill an A4 piece of paper with a guest list. Heck, most of my family didn't come to my wedding!

10. Weddings are freaking cool, today

Weddings used to be horrifying. Now they're not. Get amongst it and plan an awesome wedding!

Josh Withers is a wedding celebrant with offices in Brisbane, Sydney and Gold Coast. Find out more about a different wedding ceremony at marriedbyjosh.com

Josh Withers - Marriage Celebrant

Josh Withers - Marriage Celebrant

Finding the Right Celebrant

When he gets down on one knee and pops that big question, for one amazing split second the world stops. The future flashes before your eyes and that flash usually involves a gorgeous dress, vibrant flowers and adoring eyes all focused on us. But…..unfortunately as plans begin to take hold and arrangements are booked the reality of how much works is involved in planning a wedding begins to set in.

Finding the right celebrant is sadly often given little thought initially and left to near last. Whether that is because it is perceived as a ‘less fun’ task or perhaps couples just find picking cakes and flowers more fun, but whatever the reason, finding the celebrant is something that should be given time and consideration and can mean the difference between having a fabulous day and having a disaster.

In selecting the celebrant for you it is really important that you have some idea of what you are looking for to begin with - male, female, older, younger, traditional, modern. You need to take some time to work these details out in advance and ensure that as a couple you are clear about what you are looking for.

So, why is it important to find the right celebrant? Well your celebrant will play a major role not only on the big day, but will be your main source of ideas, information and guidance on planning your ceremony. While a celebrants main objective is to help the couple to create a ceremony that reflects who they are, they also bring to it their own perspectives, beliefs and ideas on ceremony which can often impact substantially on the end result.

Some celebrants may be more traditional and believe that a ceremony should be a very serious and formal occasion while other celebrants may believe that a more easy going, casual and fun ceremony is perfectly acceptable.

In working with you they will bring these ideas to your ceremony in the planning stages that's why it is a good idea to take the time to select wisely.

Choosing someone to trust in guiding you to plan your big day can be a little daunting, so we’ve put together a few top tips to help you:

Tip 1: Do some research based on your initial decisions of male/female etc.

Tip 2: Select 3 who appear to fit all of your criteria and either call or email them for information. Remember to ask each one to provide you with an information pack (or an outline of the services they provide, fees, inclusions etc.)

Tip 3: Compare the 3 packs based on what is provided. Consider total cost and a rating of the information given. Pay careful attention to the price inclusions, all celebrants charge different amounts and provide different things for that price.

For example: Celebrant 1 charges an all inclusive price of $500 including signing table, all documents, travel in metro area, PA use etc. Celebrant 2 charges $400, however there is a $50 fee for a table, $70 for the PA, $50 for documents and travel charged per kilometer. It’s easy to see the initial price as being the best only to discover that there are lots of ‘add ons’

Tip 4: Choose the celebrant who provides everything you are looking for at the fairest price and who you feel will best work with you to create your dream ceremony.

Tip 5: Make contact with them for an initial introduction or meeting to see if your personalities match and that they understand your vision for your day.

When you meet with the celebrant you will soon know if they are right for you, however if you feel they are not suitable simply go back to your top 3 list and organise another meeting.

We have all heard the old saying "you get what you pay for" and like anything else this is true when it comes to weddings. Very experienced and knowledgeable celebrants charge a reasonable fee for the service that they provide to couples and the time and effort that they spend personalising ceremonies to ensure your ceremony is exactly as you envisioned it to be.

While there are many cheap options available couples need to ensure that they are meeting the legal requirements and consider the standard they expect for their wedding day. Be sure to ask friends and family for recommendations as chances are if they come highly recommended, they are providing fabulous service.

We hope this has helped you to find the right celebrant for you and don't forget to check out The Wedding Gurus preferred celebrants page by clicking this link:  WG Celebrants Australia

The Wedding Gurus

xxxx

Choosing a Celebrant

Remember this story in the Courier Mail?

‘Shonky Wedding Celebrants Just Take The Cake’ April 1, 2012, which recounted horror stories about celebrant behaviour at weddings.

Let us refresh your memories:

The limousines have delivered the happy couple, the flowers are in place "just so'', the VIP guests are seated and the venue is a picture of understatement and class.

Then the celebrant arrives in a low-cut top with bursting cleavage and the blushing bride is joined by a blushing groom as those expensive wedding photographs record the disaster for all time.

Like a Rowan Atkinson skit, couples are being left fuming as bumbling celebrants spoil their special day with gaffes to rival the old classic: "Do you take this bride to be your awful wedded wife?''

Celebrants who tried to crack on to the bride, shouted at guests, hit the booze or just failed to turn up have driven couples to fire off dozens of complaints to the federal Attorney-General's department over the past five years.

"I just wanted to say I think you're cute,'' one celebrant told a shocked bride at rehearsals.

Complaints obtained under Freedom of Information laws revealed celebrants also ran off with deposits, misspelled names on certificates or failed to lodge documents - in some cases rendering marriages invalid or leaving no trace of weddings at all. Even the most expensive and meticulously planned celebrations were not immune as celebrants mumbled through ceremonies, mispronounced names, forgot to ask couples to say "I do'' or missed the wedding kiss.

The number of registered civil celebrants has more than tripled to about 10,300 in the past eight years and operators warn of a rise in shonks.

"There are so many celebrants now that the average celebrant is doing five weddings a year. They are not going to get the experience they need to improve,'' said Alliance of Celebrants Queensland president Caroline Jackson.

"It's important you feel comfortable with the celebrant, don't go on price alone.

"A lot of celebrants out there are doing it as a weekend hobby, they charge very little and basically you get what you pay for.''

If complaints are substantiated celebrants can be suspended or deregistered, cautioned or ordered to undertake additional professional development. In cases examined by The Sunday Mail celebrants often escaped with a caution or were asked to apologise or pay back fees.

Some had not completed mandatory training for five years, exposing flaws in monitoring

Story by David Murray
Source: Courier Mail

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               

As a celebrant these accounts are difficult to read, but in some cases, sadly true. The one thing that is particularly upsetting though is that for those of us who work our butts off to create a fantastic day for our clients, we are lumped in and made to look as bad as the few the Courier speak of.

As a trainer of Ongoing Professional Development for Celebrants I have the opportunity to work with many hard working, dedicated and knowledgeable celebrants who attend their 5 hours of training every year and come motivated and full of ideas for contribution.

On the whole being a celebrant is not a particularly lucrative endeavour and so for the most part the ones who go through the training and spend their hard earned money to get set up are there because they really want to be.

Of course there are ‘shonks’ as the Courier puts it, as there are in every industry, but word gets around pretty fast in the world of weddings and for those who do the things mentioned above, it doesn’t take long before they are known and no longer in business.

For couples looking to find a good celebrant, one that is right for them, good research is the answer. Like with anything in our society you often get what you pay for, so choosing the cheapest celebrant around may not always be in your best interest. Most celebrants charge a reasonable amount for the work that they do so if you find one that is charging much less than others you may want to look a little closer at what they are offering.

If you are looking for some great advice about how to choose the right celebrant for you, don’t miss our upcoming post on ‘Finding The Right Celebrant’, full of great ideas and strategies to ensure that the person guiding you and leading you through on one of the most important moments of your life is the right one. Keep a look out for it, coming soon.

Susan x

Week 6 - Traditional Smoking Ceremony

Welcome to week 6 of our '52 Traditions / Rituals in 52 weeks' this week we are bringing to you a 'Traditional Smoking Ceremony'. 


Indigenous Australian culture and its people are rich in ceremonial tradition and spiritual connection to their land. It is their spiritual connection to this land as ‘Mother’ that makes their ceremonies, rituals and traditions so absolutely spellbinding and magnificent. It is the perfect ritual to incorporate into a wedding ceremony.

A traditional ‘Smoking’ involves bringing together various native plants either in a fire or using a smudge stick and smoldering them to produce smoke. It is believed among indigenous Australians, that this smoke has cleansing and healing properties and also has the added ability to ward off any bad spirits that may be lurking around. Although performed at many events including building openings, births and deaths, it is a wonderful way of beginning a wedding ceremony, allowing the couple to go into the marriage feeling cleansed and free, with no bad spirits to bring them bad luck.

I (Susan) was lucky enough to see a ‘Smoking’ ceremony performed by an Aboriginal celebrant from the Northern Territory at a celebrant conference here in Adelaide a few years ago and its power was amazing. I immediately fell in love with the symbolism behind the ritual and its wonderful cleansing power.

There are a few options for conducting a smoking ritual as part of a wedding ceremony, however as many of us live in the city it can be difficult to find an adequate place to light a fire and we may need to consider an alternative.

Firstly, a ‘Smoking’ may be conducted by placing the chosen leaves on a small fire perhaps in a fire resistant trough or bowl and then allowing the smoke to cover the bride and groom and the other participants’ bodies, ridding them of what is not needed. The smoke can then be fanned around the area with the intention of also cleansing it before the marriage takes place.

The couple and their guests may feel a sense of leaving behind any troubles and beginning something new and the couple may like the Celebrant to say a few words about the significance of the smoking. There is no specific wording, but it is important to ask the couple what it means to them.

Another option is using a ‘Smudge stick’ (pictured left) which is a bundle of dried herbs, (quite often white sage and incorporating some other herbs or spices such as lavender and juniper, which give a pleasant odour when burnt). These are then bound into a small bundle with string and dried to later be used for the wedding ceremony. The ‘Smoking’ is conducted in much the same way as outlined above, however the celebrant may walk around the area spreading the smoke and wave the stick around the couple in order to cover them. Again the couple may like the celebrant to say a few words about the significance.

Conducting a traditional ‘Smoking’ is a great way of incorporating ritual in ceremony and regardless of your background or heritage, it’s significance crosses all boundaries of race or religion. If you are conducting a wedding ceremony in Australia or you are a bride or groom considering using a smoking as part of your ceremony, you may also like to begin the ceremony by paying tribute to the traditional owners of the land you are standing on. What a great way to enter your married life, with good luck, health and a clean slate. Only good can come of it!

Note: Smudge sticks can usually be purchased from stores that supply religious or ceremonial items or they can be made easily using fresh herbs. There are lots of instructional videos available on the internet.


The Wedding Gurus

Week 1: Cup of Life Ceremony

Welcome to week 1 of our '52 traditions / rituals in 52 week' we are so excited to be bringing this to you and what a great way to start with the 'cup of life ceremony' brought to you by our resident celebrant blogger Susan.

We sincerely hope you enjoy the video dont forget to follow our blog so you can enjoy the fun, inspiring and informative information the next 53 weeks has to bring! If you have any questions or would like us to post any of the wording then please leave a comment and we will do our very best to get back to you within 24hours. Enjoy!