Missing You

We spend so much time focussing on the new and the present, which is of course magical and exciting, but every now and then something will come along to remind us of the bigger picture, our existence and our mortality in this life. This poem always captured my heart with it's honest words and it's perspective of being at the other end, looking back over a marriage and a life that was built with that other half of you.

Everything aside; noise, phones, life, children, work, at the end of the day, when we all finally have to face that road alone is when the real test of how we lived our lives is upon us. How will we look back over our lives and of those that we have loved and lost?

This poem, Missing You tells one persons story:

Is ticking all the boxes ruining your chances of finding true love?

We live in a truly amazing time. A time of technology and instant access to, well, everything. If we want it, we can usually get it there and then and if we can’t we can probably at least order it online there and then! But there is one thing that continues to elude some in the fast paced rat race we call life and that is of course ….Love.

In days long past  it might have been as simple as glancing across a room and locking eyes with that one person who locked eyes back while for others, like a very great love story, it involved some kind of struggle or adversity, but in the end love triumphed. BUT for others, the all elusive ‘love’ has become stressful, fraught with anxiety, stress, worry and confusion.

We may live in an age where we can see everyone’s profile, what they look like and, irritatingly, what they had for breakfast, but with the rising number of divorces, growing depression and loneliness and general feeling of detachment that many singles are feeling, when it comes to finding love are we really better off?

When you speak to your grandparents and in same cases even your parents about how they met, they speak of local dances, or double dating and chaperoned trips to the movies. People seemed to fall in love more often and easier without the complication of his/her ugly profile pic or finding some differing political view after stalking their Facebook profile. Somehow, it seems, that society now finds it acceptable for each person to have a ‘list’ and hard copy or mental page of tick boxes that a potential lover must at least be able to fill the majority of the page.

Someone I know, who shall remain nameless (for fear she will kill me), has one such list. It’s extensive, complicated and to be honest utterly unrealistic. Yet she stands by said list with vigour and should a potential date not tick one of the major items then he is out the door without a second thought. Strange??? Apparently not, because it seems that more and more are adopting just such an approach.

In Shanghai there are actually organised ‘Expo’s’ that offer singles seeking an ‘appropriate’ partner the opportunity to not only come along, but bring their entire family in order to find Mr or Mrs Right. It’s called the Annual Love and Marriage Expo, but there seems to be very little love in the atmosphere at these events that feel more like and business or career event.

According to CNN these gatherings, that attract a staggering amount of singles – in the thousands, are so big that they have to be held in a shopping complex! With as many parents roaming around looking for ‘suitable’ candidates for their children as there are singles themselves, many flock to the many billboards that display not only pictures, but essential information such as age, height, education and yes, you guessed, that most important piece, annual income. (See full article here)

With speed dating on offer for many who have never even had a date before, love, romance and the old fashioned, ‘getting to know each other’ are not only forgotten, but seem impossible.

While we might laugh or scoff at how absurd it sounds, we need to ask ourselves, is this merely a more extreme version of ticking all the boxes? Is this what many singles with long lists of criteria are doing anyway? Perhaps it is a little more subtly or justified as trying to weed out Mr or Mrs Wrong, but are we in fact treating love and chemistry as something of a job and person specification? Could we be cheating ourselves out of finding the absolute most perfect person for us simply because a box or two has not been ticked?

As a  Marriage Celebrant I am privileged to spend my time with people who have been lucky enough to find that elusive ‘true love’ and surprisingly more and more are finding it in unusual places. Love, it seems, is now commonly being found on our computer screens, mobile devices and social media sites. This is of course in addition to chat rooms and online dating sites.

The days of local dances or a man asking a woman for a dance and inviting her for coffee and a chat are few and far between.

In the long run, love is love no matter how it comes about, but I think we have to hope for the sake of every good love story that has been told through the generations, that criteria checklists do not become so important that Annual Marriage Conventions or Expo’s become the only way to meet the ‘right’ partner.

Susan xo

Raw emotion as Groom sees his gorgeous Bride

As a celebrant, I am lucky enough to get to spend time with each couple in the lead up to their wedding day. Getting to know them, planning their ceremony and working out the right wording takes time and it is during this time that I usually get a real sense of who they are and how they ‘fit’ together as a couple. 

At some stage in this process we usually get the part where we either have a rehearsal or at least a run through of what will happen on the day and where everyone will stand. This is usually fun and exciting, but I have found that despite going over all the details, it in no way prepares them for the explosion of emotion and love they often feel overcome by at the very moment they see each other on the day.

Photo by www.truephotography.com

truephotography.com

truephotography.com

The celebrant usually arrives at the venue at least half an hour in advance on the day in order to set up and prepare documents etc. The groom and his groomsmen are usually wandering around, greeting guests as they arrive and looking generally nervous! 

As the moment draws near and tensions build, the bride finally arrives and as I usher the groom and groomsmen into position. The nerves and anticipation of the guests are palpable.

As we wait the groomsmen are usually giving the groom grief, teasing him and making jokes, but as the bride appears from whatever direction she enters, the mood changes. All eyes are on his bride and I would have to say that in about 80 percent of cases, the groom cries. Not sobbing or bawling, but tears of joy, of gratitude and of how lucky he feels. This is particularly true when the couple have children and the children enter in front of the bride. Even the biggest, blokiest of them all usually succumb (and in fact are often the softest!) Its a beautiful moment and one that I feel so honoured to share with the couple.

I recently came across a fantastic post on Buzzfeed which really captured this moment perfectly. 24 pictures that capture this very moment.

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mattbellassai/24-grooms-seeing-their-brides-for-the-first-time-6z51

 

The Wedding Gurus

xxx

Week 22: Handfasting with Children

Welcome to week 22 of our "52 traditions/rituals in 52 weeks".

Some time ago we brought you a version of a 'handfasting' (view here) which has been very popular on the blog, so we thought we would follow it up with a fabulous way of including children in this wonderfully meaningful ritual.

Including children in a handfasting:

Celebrant: 'When we think about marriage we immediately visualize the joining of two people. But this is not always so. Marriages unite families and as is the case in many families today, who already have children, they give us a wonderful opportunity to celebrate and embrace some of the other important relationships in our lives.

During a wedding ceremony rings are sometimes exchanged with a promise. As (Bride) and (Groom) are not exchanging rings, but instead binding their hands, they thought appropriate that their children should also take part as a reminder of their promise to them on this day.

They wanted to find a way to let them know now how special and wonderful they are, and how privileged and blessed they feel to be their parents'.

Children step forward and their hands are bound with the parents

Celebrant addresses children:

'(Insert children’s names): These are the hands that will support encourage and protect you through all of life’s ups and downs, happy times, sad times, love and we hope, great joy. This binding is a reminder of the love and respect that each of you have for the others and that which will last for a lifetime'.

The Wedding Gurus x

Horrifying Bridesmaid Dresses

Ok, so we've all been there, excited about being asked to be a bridesmaid and all the fun that comes with that role. And then...........it happens. The bride chooses the ugliest creation you have ever had the displeasure of laying your eyes on and you just know that there is absolutely nothing you can do about it.

So in the spirit of friendship and solidarity, the true measure of your love and loalty to that special friend, we thought we would explore some of the bridesmaids outfits that have truly displayed the lengths that some true friends will go to in making sure the bride's day is perfect!

Good on you, we say



unknown source



Pic from: my 10 online.com;

Pic from: www.bridalwave.tv;



Pic from: www.stinkypalace.com;



Pic From: www.people.com;

Pic From: www.projectwedding.com

Pic From: blog.shabbyapple.com

Pic From: manolobrides.com

Pic From: zoomers.ning.com

 



Pic from: slightlywarped.com



The Wedding Gurus

xxx



The Secret to Marital Bliss

Have you ever wondered what is the secret to a long, loving and fulfilling marriage? (haven't we all)

When couples first walk down the aisle, they are often consumed with the moment giving little thought to anything else, but once the big day is long gone, what is it that really holds people together?

There probably really isn't any one true answer for everyone as we are all different and place value on many varying things within a relationship, but there are some things that we would likely all agree on.

Perhaps honesty, loyalty, love, respect and attraction? Matching outfits? yes matching outfits.

According to this gorgeous couple, matching outfits is the secret to their long and happy 65 year marriage.

Check out this story as told by ninemsn.com.au:

An octogenarian couple have revealed the secret to their 65 years of marital bliss — matching outfits.

Joey Schwanke, 81, and her husband Mel, 86, bought their first custom-made matching outfits in 1976 and have dressed alike ever since.

 

 

They now own 146 bespoke coordinating ensembles and never leave their home in Fremont, Nebraska, in anything else.

 

 

"We don't dare go somewhere without having matching outfits," Mel told KETV. "Every day, every single day, my tie matches her dress."

 

 

Mel and Joey think their matching wardrobes "enhance" their relationship, but admit there's more to a happy marriage than dressing alike.

 

 

"To this day, if he does something for me I thank him," Joey told the Huffington Post.

 

 

"If we run into each other, we say excuse me. We fully respect each other and consider each other with every decision we make."

The History of Valentines Day

Every year, the fourteenth day of February sees all of us, no matter what age or sex, scurrying about organising surprises, no matter how big or small and presenting our loved ones with flowers, chocolates and whatever other treat or gift we can think of to show our love.

Every table in every good restaurant is usually taken well in advance and God help the poor boyfriend, husband or fiancée who didn’t get a chance to shop!

While we give cards and gifts and hope we have someone care enough about us to leave a little surprise the history of St Valentines day is actually very sweet and deserves some recognition.

Valentines day, some say, originates from a bishop named Valentine, who was stationed in the Roman Empire. At that time the Emperor was Claudius II, who took it upon himself to decide that men who were not yet married actually made better soldiers than did the ones with wives and families.

It was this belief that brought about his decision to make it a rule of law that young men could not marry. Such an outrageous decision caused distress for so many young men and their sweethearts that round 270 A.D., it was bishop Valentine who took great pity on these poor and lonely soldiers who were pining for their loves and he began performing secret marriages against the ruling of the Emperor.

Once the secret marriages were found out Claudius II was enraged and jailed Valentine. While imprisoned Claudius II began his attempts to convert Valentine insisting that he worship only the Roman Gods, but Valentine refused and Instead, he began his own campaign to convert Claudius to Christianity.

Valentine was sentenced to be executed on February 24, 270.

There is also another version of the history of Valentines Day which tells a more romantic side to the story (which we all love of course!)

While imprisoned, Valentine fell in love with his jailer’s daughter. Just before his death, he sent his beloved a note telling her of his love and at the end the signature read “from your Valentine.” With the tale of deceit, romance and death, those who knew the story began to talk of the demise of Valentine and over time his fame was far reaching.

Bishop Valentine, having not only sacrificed his own life to help the young couples in love, also overcame the reality of his predicament to fall in love with his executioners daughter, became what a “Patron Saint” of love.  As time passed his legend lived on and many considered him the patron or spiritual overseer of an annual festival held on the 14^th of February, in which young couples would give cards of love and affection to those they were not only already in love with, but to those they wished to date.

There are even Valentine cards in museums worldwide that date back to 1415.

we will leave you on this day of celebrating the uniqueness and beauty of love with this:

Let me not to the marriage of true minds Admit impediments.

Love is not love which alters when it alteration finds,

Or bends with the remover to remove:
0, no! it is an ever-fixed mark, that looks on tempests and is never shaken;

It is the star to every wandering bark,

Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come;

Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks, but bears it out even to the edge of doom.

If this be error and upon me proved, I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

Sonnet 116 by William Shakespeare

Week 3 - Ring Warming Ceremony

Welcome to Ritual/Tradition number 3 in our 52 Rituals in 52 Weeks


This is a fairly common, but very sweet ritual that you may have seen done before in a ceremony. It is simple, easy and doesn’t require any elaborate props in order to pull it off beautifully and successfully.

Basically prior to the ceremony taking place, the rings are placed into a small lace or chiffon bag ensuring the top of the bag is tied tightly so they are not able to come out as it is passed among the guests. Some people like to simply tie the rings together with a ribbon and allow them to be passed, however I personally wouldn’t recommend this as it is not worth the risk of one of them being dropped.

Once the bride arrives and the celebrant/Priest has welcomed everyone they may say something like: (my preferred version, but there are many to choose from or you can add your own wording).

“During this ceremony (grooms name) & (brides name) will exchange rings. They have entrusted the keeping of the rings with (insert name) who will be passing them around to each and every one of you individually.

As this ceremony proceeds we ask that you, their families and friends take part in the warming of these rings as a sign of your love and support for this union.

We ask that you, as their most trusted loved ones wish them health and happiness, laughter and good fortune and all that is noble and good in life.

These rings are the visible signs of their commitment to one another.

I ask that each person take the time to hold them for a moment, warm them with your hopes and wishes and love, then pass them on to the next person. I ask that all present voice a silent wish or prayer for this couple, for their marriage and their future together.

When these rings come back to (insert name) they will contain, in their precious metal, that which is more precious and yet is priceless, your love and pledge of support”.

The Celebrant/Priest then proceeds with the ceremony (or music can be played while the rings are ‘warmed’).

When it comes time in the ceremony for the rings to be exchanged by the couple , the celebrant/Priest may either also express a wish or blessing for the couple before they are placed or they may simply hand them to the couple to place.

This is a simple and easy ritual, yet a very effective way of including each and every guest and evoking a beautiful sense of inclusion and emotion.

The Wedding of Carla and James

Welcome to the wedding of the gorgeous Carla and James.

In October 2009 James proposed to his beautiful girlfriend Carla on top of the Eiffel Tower in Las Vegas. 2 years later in November 2011 they said 'i do' amongst their family and friends in their hometown of Adelaide.

Carla Waye is a solo singer / songwriter (www.carlawaye.com) and has worked with renowned producers such as Darryl Anthony and Isreal who has produced for the likes of Jessica Mauboy, Stan Walker, Ricky Lee and Jay Sean. Carla comes from a very close Filipino family while James is from a proud Greek background, as you will see from the beautiful photo story to follow they were able to incorporate some of both their Filipino & Greek traditions throughout.

It has been a true pleasure for the team at the Wedding Gurus to bring this to you and we hope you enjoy the inspriring and breathtaking story of how their beautiful wedding day unfolded. The couple can’t speak highly enough of their fabulous photographer Jackie Tran who captured all the truly spectacular and memorable moments of the days events.

The sweet and classically simple flower girl dresses are from Tea Princess

 

Carla with her proud mum. The Jewelery including headpiece, custom brooch and earrings,

by Maria Elena Headpieces

 James with his handsome groomsmen and page boys

Carla's overwhelmingly beautiful wedding dress is by San Patrick purchased at

Anastasia Bridal Couture

The colourful & breathtakingly beautiful Church, St Dimitrios of Adelaide

In a traditional Greek wedding ceremony the bride and groom are crowned with a Stefana. 2 Crowns are linked together with a single length of ribbon symbolising the joining of two souls and the creation of a new household. It is a symbol of combining two people as one.

The stunning bridal procession of all white Jags courtesy of Jags With Grace

The Classic Jets Fighter Museum at Parafield Airport was the perfect location to capture these unique and timeless shots

The bridesmaid dresses were individually designed by each bridesmaid and crafted by

Adriana Loro Designs on Port Road, Adelaide

 

The elegant and intricately crafted 8 tier wedding cake was created by the talented team at

Sugar and Spice Cakes on Goodwood Road

The couple share their first dance at the spectacular Sunrise ballroom of
Sfera's Park Suites & Convention Centre, Adelaide

Carla Waye is an acclaimed singer / songwriter and amazed her guests with a beutiful vocal performance with the help of David Fitzgerald. Carla sang a medley of songs including 'make you feel my love', 'angel of mine', 'heaven' and 'even when im sleeping'

As part of James' Greek Background, his family and friends pin money and lucky charms on him as a sign of good luck and fortune for the couples lives together.

Carla performs a traditional Filipino dance 'Tinkiling'. The two parralel bamboo poles are hit together and raised into the air and back to the ground to the rythmn of the music, as this is done Carla hops over and around the them in a skillful graceful manner.

We saved the most magnificent awe-inspiring photo till last.

As Carla and James embark upon their future together, we wish them a marriage filled with blissful and everlasting love, laughter and happiness.