A family unity ritual - Exchanging Rings

With so many couples finding love later in life or when they already have children, Family Unity Rituals are fast becoming not only popular, but important in bringing a sense of commitment, readiness and togetherness to the wedding ceremony and to each member who is trying to find their places in the new family structure. This example is a simple way of including the children in making the commitment and leaving each member of the family with a lasting reminder of their inclusion. At the point in the ceremony where the couple have exchanged their rings the celebrant will say:   "Could I now ask Jasmine and Sarah to please come forward. Jake, can we please have the rings."   (The children can either know about this or it can be a surprise for them. For a boy who would prefer not to wear a ring,  he may be given the ring on a chain to wear around his neck or something else appropriate.)   "Jasmine and Sarah, today your parents are making a life-long commitment to share the rest of their lives with each other as a couple, but they could not make those promises wholeheartedly without including the two of you. Not only are they making their vows to each other, but also to both of you to live the rest of each of your lives connected to one another always. (Mum & dad to place the rings on the girl’s fingers)     The relationship that you each have with the other members of this family are symbolized with the rings that you each now wear. Each one is perfectly round with no beginning or end and is made of the strongest metal. Today they represent everything that your parents hope for this family. For there to be no end and for this family to be made of the strength, love and commitment that each of you bring to it today.   May this togetherness never be broken and may your lives always be blended and intertwined with each other’s in happiness, hope and prosperity."

Placement of the Wedding Ring

Welcome to week 27 of 52 Wedding Tradition/Rituals in 52 Weeks, 

Have you ever asked yourself why the wedding ring is placed on the third finger of the left hand?

We recently pondered the same question and in response we decided to go in search of where this idea may have originated. As you can imagine there were many interpretations and we have outlined our favourite 3 for you.

In Western Culture it was thought to originate from the Greek physicians in the third century B.C where they were misled to believe that a vein of blood ran from the third finger of the left hand straight to the heart. A slightly misguided interpretation of the human anatomy yes, but you can understand their logic of placing the ring that symbolises love and commitment on the part of the body that was thought to be in direct connection to the heart. In fact this vein was later named ‘vena amori’ or vein of love.

The Chinese have a beautiful interpretation and we have outlined this below showing the representation of each finger :

Thumb represents your parents

Index finger represents your siblings

Middle finger represents your self

Ring finger represents your life partner

Little finger represents children

Now this idea is not based solely on just guessing what each finger may represent, there is actually a really sweet theory behind it.

Basically, if you place your palms together in front of you and bend your middle fingers down so that they are knuckle to knuckle (see pic) the significance becomes clear.

Your thumbs (which represent your parents) are easily separated as you are separated from them as you move off to marry.

Your index finger (which represents your siblings) is also easily separated signifying how you will separate from them in your life, creating your own families.

Your middle finger - is removed as it represents yourself.

Your little finger (representing your future children) is easily parted also representing that they too are not with you forever.

If you try however to separate your ring fingers (representing your life partner) You cannot. Why? because you are tied together as one for eternity. The sentiment behind this theory is beautiful in that the inability to separate these two fingers is exactly where the rings should be placed reminding us of this everlasting unbreakable bond.

A final theory (culture unknown) puts forward the idea that the third finger cannot be held out alone, it needs the support of both the middle and little fingers on either side . So what does this signify, well it gives the ring finger union, support and protection thus representing a happy and health marriage and life together..

The Wedding Gurus xx

Diamonds Explained

Choosing a ring is not a task to be taken lightly. So many Grooms head off to their jewellers and choose something that is merely visually appealing without considering what contributes to its actual value.

We thought it might be helpful to give you a lesson in what contributes to the value of a woman's best friend (Yes, diamonds) so that you can become familiar with not only their different shapes, but also with the terms jewellers may use to describe them.

There are many different diamond shapes available and the one you choose will depend on your personal preference. Keep in mind the shape you choose to wear for the rest of your life should be a statement of who you are not just your style or the fashion trend of the moment.

Remember this will probably be sitting on your finger staring at you every day for the rest of your life.

Image Source: diamondvues.com

When shopping for your diamond there are a few things you should always keep in mind: After choosing your desired shape, the four C’s are most important: cut, colour, clarity and carat.

Cut: the cut does not refer to the shape of the diamond, but to the way in which the diamond has been shaped and polished. A well cut diamond is symmetrical and well proportioned, where as a diamond which has not been cut well will be less luminous compared to the visual brilliance of one that has.

Colour: Diamonds are found in a variety of colours with some of the rarest having a colourless grading our in vibrant colours such as red, green, pink or blue. Colourless diamonds are those which are graded in the D to F range (see chart), these are the rarest and most valuable.

Those diamonds within the K to Z range have a yellow like shading which can be detected with the naked eye whereas those diamonds in the colourless to near colourless range can be very hard to detect with an untrained eye and we recommend you check this with your jeweller.

Image Source: diamondimports.com.au

Clarity: The clarity of a diamond is determined with the help of a 10x loupe magnification. The diamond is graded ranging from flawless (the diamond has no blemishes) to I3 (the diamond has large blemishes). The diamonds value is largely affected by its clarity, not by its visual appearance. The following grading explanation is derived from thediamondbuyersguide.com.

• F
  Flawless: No internal or external flaws. Extremely rare.
• IF
  Internally Flawless: no internal flaws, but some surface flaws. Very rare.
• VVS1-VVS2
  Very Very Slightly Included (two grades). Minute inclusions very difficult to detect under 10x magnification by a trained gemologist.
• VS1-VS2
  Very Slightly Included (two grades). Minute inclusions seen only with difficulty under 10x magnification.
• SI1-SI2
  Slightly Included (two grades). Minute inclusions more easily detected under 10x magnification.
• I1-I2-I3
  Included (three grades). Inclusions visible under 10x magnification AS WELL AS to the human eye. We do not recommend buying diamonds in any of these grades.

Carat: The carat of a diamond is determined by its weight (see chart). The carat cannot be determined by its size but instead by the density of the stone. The rings carat will depend on whether it is set with a single diamond or multiple diamonds. The letters “ct” refers to the carat of a single diamond whereas the abbreviation “ct TW” refers to the total carat of all diamonds set within the ring. Choosing a carat will depend on your budget and the personal preference of the person who will be wearing the ring.

Image Source: mydiamondsforever.blogspot.com 

Knowing the four C's helps you to make an educated choice on which ring is right for you whilst also ensuring you are not paying too much. Don't be afraid to ask your jeweller questions relating the the diamonds cut, colour, clarity and carat, and if they are unable to answer these questions then it may be in your best intrest to find a jeweller who can.

A ring is an expensive and treasured investment and therefore you should be certain of its value before you purchase!

The Wedding Gurus

xxx

Week 3 - Ring Warming Ceremony

Welcome to Ritual/Tradition number 3 in our 52 Rituals in 52 Weeks


This is a fairly common, but very sweet ritual that you may have seen done before in a ceremony. It is simple, easy and doesn’t require any elaborate props in order to pull it off beautifully and successfully.

Basically prior to the ceremony taking place, the rings are placed into a small lace or chiffon bag ensuring the top of the bag is tied tightly so they are not able to come out as it is passed among the guests. Some people like to simply tie the rings together with a ribbon and allow them to be passed, however I personally wouldn’t recommend this as it is not worth the risk of one of them being dropped.

Once the bride arrives and the celebrant/Priest has welcomed everyone they may say something like: (my preferred version, but there are many to choose from or you can add your own wording).

“During this ceremony (grooms name) & (brides name) will exchange rings. They have entrusted the keeping of the rings with (insert name) who will be passing them around to each and every one of you individually.

As this ceremony proceeds we ask that you, their families and friends take part in the warming of these rings as a sign of your love and support for this union.

We ask that you, as their most trusted loved ones wish them health and happiness, laughter and good fortune and all that is noble and good in life.

These rings are the visible signs of their commitment to one another.

I ask that each person take the time to hold them for a moment, warm them with your hopes and wishes and love, then pass them on to the next person. I ask that all present voice a silent wish or prayer for this couple, for their marriage and their future together.

When these rings come back to (insert name) they will contain, in their precious metal, that which is more precious and yet is priceless, your love and pledge of support”.

The Celebrant/Priest then proceeds with the ceremony (or music can be played while the rings are ‘warmed’).

When it comes time in the ceremony for the rings to be exchanged by the couple , the celebrant/Priest may either also express a wish or blessing for the couple before they are placed or they may simply hand them to the couple to place.

This is a simple and easy ritual, yet a very effective way of including each and every guest and evoking a beautiful sense of inclusion and emotion.